Books Landscape Sculptures by Guy Laramee

Just curious.

Are you still participating in Cover the Night after all of the criticism it has received, and the fact that Jason the Director got detained? 

No, it’s a scam

No, the whole detained thing sent me the other direction

Yes, it’s not about what the director does in his spare time

Yes, it’s simply a matter of opinion

Click here: http://poll.pollcode.com/lwu2 to vote.

Are you curious

as to why I’m so independent and self reliant?

As to why I dislike men so much?

Well, here you go.

My dad was a druggie alcoholic who couldn’t bother to send me birthday cards after I got tired of seeing him when I was eight because he spent his time fucking his girlfriends who were half his age when I came over.

I got a control freak stepdad out of the deal who can’t bear to do a single fucking thing himself and for years has told me, despite my 102.470 average, perfect attendance, never touching drugs and never indulging in alcohol, that I’m selfish, rude, and undeserving of anything he or my mom gives me. For years I grew up believing that I was worthless, and that I was crazy that I hated my family. Then I looked at who was selfish, rude, and undeserving and understood everything clearly.

My mom married both of these idiots despite being beautiful and intelligent because she believed she would never find anything better. And after having my six year old brother Ridge with my stepdad she’s afraid (since he’s a cop/detective) that he will find a way to take Ridge away from her. Because of these things, she hates herself and is overweight and shoves her emotions all down until my stepdad yells at her for not having dinner on the fucking table when he gets home.

So that’s why I think I’m awful.

And that’s why any act of love I participate in makes me feel like a slut, because when I do anything deemed wrong by my family, it eats at my conscience.

It’s nothing against you, lovely.

I’m just one of those fucked up girls with daddy issues.

And that is why I refuse to live the rest of my life in the restraining hands of others. Especially men.

I don’t want to feel like this forever.

I can now access the internet anytime, any place..

Get ready for all the awesome!

Not sure about the new dash.

On another note, so ready for this week. 

I have to work tonight, and I had to work yesterday.

God, I hate working so much.

There’s so much I would rather be doing.

Going to be in the talent show Friday.

I’m kind of nervous, but this is always something I’ve wanted to do before I graduate. 

I’m tired of being afraid of failure.

I could go look for celebrity pictures, but I just don’t feel like it.

So hello homework, practicing, and wishing I had a trust fund.

I feel

the need for direction

the need for predictability

the need for creativity

the need to be no person but my own.

I just want to be beautiful.

I just want to be everything I could possibly be.

I just want to lie in bed each night thinking, “I’ve done something that’s worth something.”

You know?

Today I

  • Got my first speeding ticket
  • Sympathized with those who have a general hatred for police officers
  • Was worried I am disposable
  • Got told for the first time about a test I will now fail tomorrow (I hate having to take a junior class).
  • Decided I need to work on this blog soon. It needs to have more “culture.”
  • Felt like a fat ass.
  • Wanted to punch kittens.
  • Felt like curling up in a hole and sleeping forever.

That pretty much sums it up.

I cannot wait to graduate.

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